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Val on this one
Where to meet women besides dating apps
The apps make it feel like that's the only way left. It isn't. Women still meet people at bars, in classes, at the dog park, at a friend's party. The difference is you have to say the first word out loud instead of typing it, and that's a skill, not a personality.
Val's read
When a guy talks to me in real life, i already know what he sounds like, how he laughs, whether he's kind to the barista. That's more than ten app messages would ever tell me. When a guy only exists as a profile, i'm guessing. Most women i know would love to be asked out somewhere normal by a guy who's respectful about it. They're just not going to do the asking.
The places
- Bars, early, before it gets loud. Sit at the bar, not a booth. "is this song good or have i just had two drinks." More in how to approach a girl at a bar.
- Grocery stores, weekday evenings and weekend mornings. "is this avocado ready or am i about to get betrayed." See how to talk to a girl at the grocery store.
- Run clubs, free and weekly at most run shops. "is this pace ok or am i about to embarrass myself."
- Classes, cooking, pottery, dance, climbing. "yours looks way better than mine, what am i doing wrong." See how to meet women in a class or run club.
- Gyms, slowly, as a regular, between sets only. See how to meet women at the gym without being creepy.
- Coffee shops, in line or at pickup. "what's actually good here, i always panic and order a latte." See how to talk to a girl at a coffee shop.
- Dog parks, the easiest opener in the world. "what's his name, he's running this place." Bring your dog or a friend's.
- Bookstores, the fiction and new release tables. "is that one good, i keep seeing it and i can't commit."
And the sleeper, your friends. Tell three friends you're single and open to meeting someone. Say yes to the party invites.
Body language anywhere
Do
- Approach where she can see you coming, stand at her side, keep it short.
- Smile, relax your shoulders, talk at a normal volume.
Don't
- Don't approach someone with headphones in and head down.
- Don't block her path, touch her, or follow her.
Signs she's into it, and when to back off
- Keep going if she turns toward you, asks something back, laughs, or lingers.
- Back off if she gives short answers, looks away, or says she has to go. Say "nice meeting you" and leave it there. Her "no" is the end of it, every time.
How to get her number
Same everywhere. Ask while it's still fun, give a reason, and make it easy to say no. "i've got to go, but i'd like to keep talking. can i get your number?" Then text her right there so she has yours.
Texts you can send
what's his name, he's running this place
is that one good, i keep seeing it and i can't commit
i've got to go but i'd like to keep talking. can i get your number
dog park guy. tell biscuit i said hi
A woman's read
I meet guys on apps too, and honestly, a guy who just says hi to me at the dog park wins every time. He's real, i can see he's nice to his dog, and he asked me himself. He didn't need to be smooth. He needed to say one normal thing, read me honestly, and ask before it got awkward. That's the whole skill, and you get good at it by doing it a lot.
Your mission tonight
The move
Pick two places from this list you'll be at this week anyway. At each one, say one thing to one woman. That's it, no number required. You're building the habit of opening your mouth. When it goes well, ask for the number. When it doesn't, you still won.
Questions guys ask
Where can I meet women besides dating apps?
Bars early in the night, grocery stores, run clubs, classes like cooking or dance, gyms as a regular, coffee shops, dog parks, bookstores and through friends. Pick places you would go anyway.
What is the easiest place to meet women in real life?
Places with a built in topic, like a dog park, a class or a run club. You already have something to talk about, and you see the same people again.
How do I talk to women in real life without being creepy?
Approach where she can see you, keep it short, talk about what is in front of you, and leave right away if she gives short answers or looks away. Respecting her signals is the whole thing.
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