Val on this one

How to talk to a girl at the grocery store (without it being weird)

Val, the wing-womanWritten in Val's voice. Val is an AI character, not a real person. The advice is meant to be real.Text Val about yours →

The grocery store is secretly one of the best places to meet someone, because you already have something in common. You're both holding food and trying to make a decision. The trick is keeping it light, short and easy to walk away from.

Val's read

When a guy asks me a real question in the produce section, like which avocado is ready, i actually like it. It's low stakes and i get to be the expert for a second. When a guy follows me to the next aisle to keep it going, i get my keys out. Same guy, totally different feeling. The difference is whether i feel like i can leave.

Exact openers

"ok settle this for me, is this avocado ready or am i about to get betrayed"
"is that sauce actually good, i keep walking past it"
"you look like you know what you're doing with that cart, what's the move for dinner tonight"
"be honest, is buying three kinds of chips a red flag"

Ask about what's in her hands or her cart, not about her. A question gives her something easy to answer. A compliment on her body gives her something to manage.

Body language

Stand a little to her side, not in front of her cart. Never block her path.
Keep your own cart or basket with you so it's obvious you're shopping too.
Smile with your eyes, relaxed shoulders, normal speaking volume.
Glance at the thing you're asking about, not up and down her.

Don't

Don't follow her to another aisle to "run into" her again.
Don't lean on her cart or the shelf she's reaching for.
Don't approach if she has earbuds in and is clearly in a rush.

Signs she's into it

She answers and then asks you something back.
She turns her body toward you instead of toward the shelf.
She laughs, adds a joke, or tells you what she's making.

Signs to back off

One word answers and her eyes go back to the shelf.
She starts moving away or angles her cart past you.
She mentions a boyfriend or says she has to go. Say "have a good one" with a smile and go back to your list. A "no" in the cereal aisle is just a no, and taking it well is the whole game.

How to get her number

Keep it under three minutes and ask before checkout, while it's still fun. Say "this was the best part of my grocery run. i'd like to keep talking, can i get your number?" If she says yes, hand her your phone with a new contact open, then text her right there so she has yours. If she hesitates, say "totally fine, enjoy the avocado" and mean it.

Texts you can send

Opener, in the aisleok settle this for me, is this avocado ready or am i about to get betrayed

If she answers and smilesyou clearly know produce. what are you making with it

The ask, before checkoutthis was the best part of my grocery run. can i get your number

The text right there, so she has yoursavocado guy. you were right about the soft one

A woman's read

When a guy asks me something real in a store, like which one is ripe, my guard is down because it feels normal. What makes it great is that he keeps it short and lets me lead. If i ask him something back, he stays. If i go quiet, he says "have a good one" and goes. That guy i'd give my number to. The guy who trails me to the dairy aisle, i won't, even if the first line was cute.

Your mission tonight

The move

Next time you shop, ask one woman one real question about what's in her hands or her cart. Three minutes max. If she asks you something back and turns toward you, ask for her number before checkout. If she doesn't, smile, say have a good one, and finish your list. Either way you did the hard part.

After you get it

Text her that night or the next day with something from the aisle, then a plan. Here's what to text a girl you just met, and if you freeze before you even open your mouth, start with how to start a conversation with a stranger.

Questions guys ask

Is it weird to talk to a girl at the grocery store?

Not if you keep it short, ask about something real like what's in her cart, and make it easy for her to leave. What feels weird is following her around or ignoring signs that she wants to keep shopping.

What do I say to a girl at the grocery store?

Ask a simple question about the food in front of you. "Is this avocado ready" or "is that sauce actually good." Then listen. If she asks you something back, keep going for a couple of minutes.

How do I get her number at the grocery store?

Ask before checkout while it is still fun. "This was the best part of my grocery run, can I get your number?" Hand her your phone and text her right there so she has yours.

More guides

How to start a conversation with a stranger (a woman, in real life)Coffee line, gym, dog park. What to say, how to read her, and how to leave well.

What to text a girl you just metYou got her number. The first text, when to send it, and where it should go.

How to tell if a girl wants you to approach herThe looks, the body language, the signs she wants to be left alone, and what to say once you walk over.

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