Guides › Val
Val on this one
How to meet women in a class or run club
If walking up to a stranger freezes you, a class or a run club is your cheat code. You get to see the same women every week, you already have something to talk about, and nobody expects a line. You just have to keep showing up and actually talk.
Val's read
When a guy at run club falls into my pace and says "is it always this hilly or is today personal," i laugh and we talk the whole loop. When a guy shows up once, hits on three women, and never comes back, everyone notices. The guys who do well treat it like a hobby they actually like, and the dating part happens on its own.
Where to go
- Run clubs, most run shops and breweries host a free weekly one. Pick the social pace group.
- Cooking classes, pottery, dance, salsa or swing, improv, rock climbing gyms, trivia teams.
- Pick something you'd do anyway. You'll be more relaxed, and she'll notice.
- Go three weeks in a row before you judge it.
Exact openers
- On a run, "is this pace ok for you or am i about to embarrass myself"
- In a class, "ok yours looks way better than mine, what am i doing wrong"
- Before it starts, "is this your first time too or are you secretly a pro"
- After, "a few of us are grabbing a drink after, you should come"
Body language
Do
- Run or stand next to her, matching her pace, not in front of her.
- Talk to everyone, guys included. Being the friendly regular is what makes you safe to talk to.
- Laugh at yourself when you mess up. Classes are made for that.
Don't
- Don't make the class all about her. Do the thing.
- Don't cluster next to her every single week if she hasn't moved toward you.
- Don't touch her to "help" with a pose or a pan.
Signs she's into it
- She saves you a spot, waits for you, or falls into your pace on her own.
- She asks if you're coming next week.
- She joins the after drinks when you invite the group.
Signs to back off
- She drifts to a different pace group or partner.
- Polite answers, no questions back, week after week.
- She says she's seeing someone. Say "oh nice" and keep being friendly. It's a small group, how you take it follows you.
How to get her number
After a session, when you've already talked a few times, say "i always have more fun when you're in the group. want to grab a coffee this weekend, just us?" Or the easy version, "add me to the group chat, then i'll actually text you about that taco place." Then text her a plan within a day.
Texts you can send
is this pace ok for you or am i about to embarrass myself
a few of us are getting tacos after, you should come
i always have more fun when you are in the group. coffee this weekend, just us?
run club guy. saturday after the run, coffee at that place on 5th?
A woman's read
Classes are where i'd actually want to meet someone, because i get to see who a guy is before he asks. Is he nice to the instructor, does he laugh when his pottery collapses, does he talk to everyone or just the girls. When the guy i've run next to for three weeks asks me to coffee, i've already decided. He just has to ask.
Your mission tonight
The move
Tonight, find one run club or class in your city that meets this week and sign up. Go, talk to three people, at least one of them a woman, using something about the activity. Go back next week. By week three, invite her to the after drinks or ask her to coffee.
Want more ways in?
See where to meet women besides dating apps, and once you have the number, read how to ask her out over text.
Questions guys ask
Is run club a good place to meet women?
Yes, because you see the same people every week and already have something to talk about. Pick the social pace group, go three weeks in a row, and talk to everyone, not just her.
What classes are best for meeting women?
Cooking, pottery, dance, improv, climbing and trivia are popular with women in their 20s and 30s. Pick one you would actually enjoy, because being relaxed matters more than the class.
How do I ask out a girl from my class?
After a few weeks of easy chats, ask after a session. "I always have more fun when you are in the group, want to grab a coffee this weekend, just us?" If she says no, stay friendly. It is a small group.
More guides