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How to ask for her number (without it being weird)

Val
Val, the wing-womanWritten in Val's voice. Val is an AI character, not a real person. The advice is meant to be real.Text Val about yours →

I watch guys try to ask for a number every weekend. The ones who get it aren't smoother. They just ask clearly, at the right moment, and they don't make it a big production.

Ask while it's going well

The best time to ask is at a high point. She just laughed, the conversation has a little energy, you've been talking a few minutes. Don't wait until it fizzles and then panic ask on the way out. Leave while she's still having fun.

Be direct

Hinting is worse than asking. "So do you, like, have Instagram or whatever" is a guy covering his bases. Say what you want. "I've liked talking to you. Can I get your number?" That's it. It's confident because it's simple.

Give a reason

Even better, tie it to something. You both love the same taco truck, she wants that book you mentioned, you owe her a rematch. Now the number has a purpose, and the first text writes itself.

Hand her your phone

Open a new contact and hand it over. It's easier for her than spelling it out over music, and it gets her name right.

Read her answer

A real yes is easy and quick. She takes your phone, maybe she texts herself. If she hesitates, offers her Instagram instead, or says "I'm kind of seeing someone," that's a soft no. Take it with a smile. "Totally fair, it was nice talking to you." Then actually go back to your friends.

Texts you can send

What to say in personive really liked talking to you. can i get your number
With a reasonok you have to send me that book. put your number in here
The first text afterhey its ben, book guy. still waiting on that title
If she says nototally fair. it was really nice talking to you

A woman's read

Women can tell when a guy is about to ask, and what we're really watching is how he does it. The guy who asks clearly and smiles either way feels safe and confident. The guy who hovers, hints, and gets sulky at a no makes every woman nearby a little more guarded. Ask like you'll be fine with any answer, because you will be.

The move

Next time a conversation is going well, ask at the high point. Say "I've liked talking to you, can I get your number," hand her your phone, and be gracious either way.

Respect matters more than technique

Don't ask someone who's working, trapped in line, or wearing headphones and clearly busy. Don't ask twice. If she's not into it, the way you take the no is the last thing she remembers about you. Make it a good one. Once you've got it, here's what to text her after getting her number.

Questions guys ask

When is the best time to ask for her number?

At a high point, right after a laugh or a good stretch of conversation, not when it is fizzling out.

What do I say when I ask for her number?

"I have liked talking to you, can I get your number?" Clear and simple beats clever.

What if she gives me her Instagram instead?

Take it graciously. It is often a softer yes or a polite no. Follow up once with something light, and let her lead from there.

How do I handle it if she says no?

Smile, say "totally fair, nice talking to you," and move on. How you take a no says a lot.

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