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Things to do on a third date
Date one was a drink. Date two was probably food. Now you're at three, and you're wondering what to do and what it all means. Here's my take from behind the bar, where I watch a lot of third dates happen.
What a third date is for
The first date answers "is there a spark." The second answers "was that a fluke." The third answers "what are we like together." So do something together, not just across a table. You want a little teamwork, a little play, and time to talk.
Third date ideas that work
- A class. Pottery, cooking, a one night dance class. You'll both be bad at it, which is the point.
- Something a little competitive. Bowling, mini golf, an arcade bar, bar trivia. Light trash talk is great flirting.
- A walk with a destination. A hike, a long walk to a market, a sunset spot. Side by side talking is easier than eye contact for hours.
- Live stuff. A comedy show, a small concert, then a drink after so you can actually talk.
- Cook dinner together. If you're both comfortable, this is a big step up in closeness. Don't pressure it. A public option is just as good.
- Her thing. Something she mentioned wanting to try. Bringing it back shows you listen, and that's the most attractive move there is.
How to ask
Name the thing and the day. "Want to try that pottery place saturday? I'll be terrible, it'll be fun" beats "what do you want to do?" Let her swap the plan if she wants. More on this in how to plan a second date, which works the same way for date three.
Don't stress about the "third date rule"
There isn't one. Physical stuff happens when you both want it, and not on a schedule. Pay attention to her, keep it fun, and let it go at a pace you both like. If she's leaning in, great. If she isn't, that's information, not rejection.
Texts you can send
pottery class saturday? i will be bad at it and you get to watch
bowling thursday. loser buys tacos
you said you always wanted to try that korean bbq spot. friday?
that was the most fun ive had in a while. my bowl is ugly but im keeping it
A woman's read
By date three, I already know I like you. What I'm figuring out is whether being around you is easy. Doing something together tells me more than another dinner does. Can you laugh when you lose at bowling? Do you help me without taking over? Are you still asking me questions? The best third date I ever had was a cooking class where we burned the risotto. We still laugh about it.
The move
Pick one thing you can do together, ideally something she mentioned. Text her the thing and a specific day. Plan it so there's time to talk after, like a drink or a walk.
After the date
Same as always: text her that night. And if you want to know where you stand, how to know if a date went well has the signs. For more ideas, steal from novelty date ideas that work.
Questions guys ask
What should you do on a third date?
Something you do together, like a class, bowling, a hike or a show with a drink after. It shows what you're like as a team.
Is the third date important?
It's where you find out if being together is easy and fun. It's a good point to do something more active or personal than drinks.
Is there a third date rule?
No. Physical closeness happens when you both want it, not on a schedule. Pay attention to her and go at a pace you both like.
Should the third date be at my place?
Only if you're both clearly comfortable. A public plan is completely fine and often better.
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