Val on this one

She said "we should hang out sometime"

Val's straight answer

"We should hang out sometime" is a real but lazy yes: she likes the idea and is waiting for you to make it real. Turn "sometime" into a day and a place within one text, and if she dodges that, it was just being polite.

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She said it at the end of a party, or at the end of a fun text thread. "we should hang out sometime!" And then... nothing. Either of you.

What she means

Sometimes it's a polite way to end a conversation, like "we should get lunch" between coworkers who never do. But between a guy and a girl who've been flirting? It's usually an opening. She's putting the idea out there and leaving the plan to you, partly because a lot of us still expect the guy to set it up, and partly because it's safer. If you never follow up, she never got turned down.

The thing guys online get wrong

The usual advice says "if she wanted to hang out she'd make a plan," and "girls who say sometime mean never." Some do. But plenty of women are waiting for the guy to set the plan. Waiting for her to plan it is how "sometime" quietly turns into never.

What actually works: turn "sometime" into a day, within 24 hours. One text. A real place, a real time, easy to say yes to.

Exact texts

Texts you can send

Make it realok holding you to it. coffee saturday at 11?

Tie it to something she saidyou mentioned you never tried the ramen spot on 5th. thursday at 7?

Don't:

"yeah for sure!" and nothing else. Now it's sometime forever.
"when are you free?" That gives her homework. Pick the day yourself, she can move it.
Plan something big. A first hang should be short and easy to leave.

The tell

If she says yes, great, it was real. If she says "omg yes, this week's crazy though" and offers another time, still real. If she gets vague, that was the polite version, and you found out in one text instead of three weeks. See girl said she's busy this week for that branch.

Questions guys ask

What does it mean when a girl says we should hang out sometime?

Often a real but low effort yes. She likes the idea and is leaving the plan to you. Sometimes it is just politeness.

How do I respond to "we should hang out sometime"?

Suggest a specific day, time and place in one text. Her response shows whether she meant it.

More guides

How to ask her out over textStop hinting. A day, a place, one text. Here is how.

Girl said she's busy this weekYou asked, she said this week is crazy. The detail that tells you everything.

First date ideas that aren't boringSkip the dinner interview. Dates with something to do and room to talk.

All guides