Guides › Val
Val on this one
First date ideas that aren't boring
Dinner and a movie is two hours of not talking followed by an hour of interviewing each other. You can do better, and it isn't hard.
What makes a good first date
- You can hear each other. Loud clubs and movies are out.
- There's something to do or look at, so a quiet moment doesn't feel heavy.
- It's short by default with an easy way to keep going. Drinks that can turn into dinner. Coffee that can turn into a walk.
- It's somewhere you know. You look relaxed when you already know where the bathroom is.
Ideas
- A bar with games. Pool, darts, shuffleboard, a stack of board games. Teasing comes built in.
- Tacos and a walk. Grab food from a truck or a counter spot, then walk it off somewhere pretty.
- A farmers market or flea market. Lots to point at, lots to judge together.
- Mini golf. Low stakes, a little competitive, very easy to laugh at yourself.
- A small museum or gallery. Only if you'll actually look at stuff and say what you think.
- Coffee and a bookstore. Each of you picks a book for the other on a small budget. Good for daytime.
- Trivia night. Teamwork, a little showing off, and you learn how she thinks.
What to skip
A movie, anything longer than three hours, a fancy tasting menu, anything with your friends there, and anything she has to get very dressed up for unless she asks.
Texts you can send
ok i need a pool partner who talks trash. thursday at 8?
theres a flea market saturday. coffee, bad art, strong opinions. you in
trivia at the bar by my place wednesday. i need someone who knows things
A woman's read
Here's what I notice from behind the bar. The couples sitting across from each other are working hard. The ones side by side at the pool table are having fun. A date with something to do takes the pressure off both of you. And when a guy picks the place and clearly knows it, she can tell he planned. That's half the attraction right there.
The move
Pick one place from this list that you already like. Text her a day and a time. Have a second spot nearby in mind in case it's going well.
Have a second stop in mind
If it's going well, you want somewhere close to go next. A dessert place, a quieter bar, a walk by the water. Don't announce it. Just say "want to keep going?" when the moment's right.
Haven't asked yet? Here's how to ask her out over text. Want to look the part? Jules has a guide on how to dress better for dates. And afterwards, here's what to text.
Questions guys ask
What is a good cheap first date?
Tacos and a walk, a market, trivia, coffee and a bookstore. Cheap is fine. Thoughtful matters more than price.
How long should a first date be?
Plan for an hour or two, with an easy way to extend it if it is going well.
Should I pay on the first date?
If you asked her out, offering to pay is a nice move. If she wants to split, don't make it a thing.
Is dinner a bad first date?
Not bad, just a lot. A long sit down dinner with someone you barely know can feel like an interview. Drinks first is easier.
More guides
