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Val on this one
She said she's talking to someone else
Val's straight answer
If she told you she's talking to someone else, she's either being honest because she respects you or softly telling you she's picked him. Don't compete or sulk: say you're still interested, make one clear invite, and let her choose.
You asked her out, or asked what you two are, and she said: "i should be honest, i'm kind of talking to someone else right now."
What she means by telling you
This one's actually a good sign about her, even if it doesn't feel like it. Most girls who are talking to two guys don't say it out loud. She did.
It usually means one of two things:
- "I'm not exclusive with anyone and I want you to know." She's still open, she's just being fair.
- "I'm leaning toward him." She's preparing you, hoping you'll take the hint.
The way to tell: did she still say yes to seeing you? Or did she say it *instead of* answering?
The online advice vs what works
A lot of guys online will tell you to "compete and win," be more fun, more confident, more available than the other guy. Others say "she's using you as a backup, leave."
Competing makes you anxious and try-hard, and that's not attractive. Leaving on the spot can be right, but it can also be pride making the call. If you're early on, she's allowed to be dating more than one person. So are you.
What works is calm and clear. Say what you want. Make one invite. Then actually live your life.
Exact replies
Texts you can send
appreciate you being honest. i like you, so if you want to grab that drink saturday im in
thanks for telling me. i'm looking for something with one person, so let me know if that changes
Don't send:
- "who is he?"
- "so why are you even texting me then"
- "i'm better for you than him." You don't know him, and she'll defend him.
When to step back
If she keeps you on texting but always has a reason not to meet, or tells you she's "seeing where it goes with him," step back. Say it kindly and mean it. "sounds like you're figuring stuff out, i'll give you space. you know where i am." Then go on other dates for real.
Questions guys ask
What does it mean when a girl says she is talking to someone else?
She is either being transparent while still open to you, or softly telling you she prefers him. Whether she still makes plans with you tells you which.
What should I say when she says she\'s talking to someone?
Thank her, say you are interested, make one clear invite. Do not ask about him or try to compete.
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