Val on this one

What to say after she says hi back

Val, the wing-womanWritten in Val's voice. Val is an AI character, not a real person. The advice is meant to be real.Text Val about yours →

This is where most guys freeze. You said hi, she said hi back with a smile, and your brain empties. The good news is the second line doesn't need to be clever either. It just needs to be about her or about right now, and it needs a question.

Val's read

When a guy says hi and i say hi back, i'm giving him a chance. When he follows up with "so what brings you here tonight," i'm relieved, because now we're talking. When he just stands there smiling, or says "cool" and nods, i start looking for my friend. The silence isn't awkward because of him. It's awkward because i don't know what he wants.

Exact second lines

"i'm [name], by the way." Give your name, then wait for hers.
"so what brings you here tonight"
"ok i have to ask, what are you drinking" or "what are you reading"
"are you from here or did you move here like everyone else"
"i've been trying to decide if this place is good, what's your verdict"

Then keep it going

Follow up on what she says. If she says she just moved here, ask "from where, and do you miss it."
Share a little back. One sentence about you, then hand it back with a question.
Have a small opinion. "ok that's a strong take, i disagree but i respect it." Playful disagreement is flirting.
Don't interview her. If you ask three questions in a row without sharing anything, stop and tell her something about you.

Body language

Turn your body toward her once she turns toward you.
Hold eye contact a little longer than feels comfortable, then smile.
Nod and react to what she says. Listening shows.

Don't

Don't look past her at the room or your phone.
Don't step closer every few minutes.
Don't fidget with your drink or keys the whole time.

Signs she's into it

She asks you questions back without you prompting.
She laughs, teases you, or touches your arm.
She tells you something personal, or mentions plans she has later this week.

Signs to back off

Short answers, no questions back.
She keeps looking at her friend or her phone.
She says "well, nice meeting you." That's the polite exit. Say "you too, enjoy your night" and go. She gave you a hi, not a promise, and that's ok.

How to get her number

When it's flowing, five or ten minutes in, say "i like talking to you. can i get your number and take you somewhere better than here?" Hand her your phone, text her right there, and leave on a high note.

Texts you can send

Right after she says hi backi'm jake by the way. so what brings you here tonight

When she answers, follow up and shareno way, i moved here two years ago. do you miss it yet

A playful opinionok that's a strong take. i disagree but i respect it

The aski like talking to you. can i get your number and take you somewhere better than here

A woman's read

"Hi" back is me opening the door a crack. What i want next is a name and a real question, so i know you came to talk, not just to see if i'd answer. Ask me something, tell me something, tease me a little. If i'm asking you things back, you're in. If i'm saying "nice meeting you," take it gracefully. That makes me remember you as the nice guy, not the guy who wouldn't leave.

Your mission tonight

The move

Memorize two second lines tonight, "i'm [name], by the way" and "so what brings you here." Next time a woman says hi back, use both. Follow up on whatever she says, share one thing about you, and if she's asking you questions after five minutes, ask for her number.

Keep it going over text

Once you have the number, here's what to text a girl you just met and how to keep a conversation going over text.

Questions guys ask

What do I say after a girl says hi back?

Give your name, then ask one easy question. "I am Jake by the way, so what brings you here tonight." Then follow up on what she says and share a little about you.

How do I keep a conversation going with a girl in person?

Follow up on what she says, share one thing about yourself, then ask her something new. Have a small playful opinion. Avoid asking three questions in a row without sharing anything.

How do I know if she wants to keep talking?

She asks you questions back, laughs, turns toward you and shares personal details. If she gives short answers or says nice meeting you, say you too and go.

More guides

How to tell if a girl wants you to approach herThe looks, the body language, the signs she wants to be left alone, and what to say once you walk over.

What to text a girl you just metYou got her number. The first text, when to send it, and where it should go.

How to start a conversation with a stranger (a woman, in real life)Coffee line, gym, dog park. What to say, how to read her, and how to leave well.

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