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How to look better in photos for dating apps
"Seven months and not a single like." I hear that and I don't ask about your height or your job. I ask to see your photos. Nine times out of ten, the guy looks better in real life than in his profile, and that's a fixable problem. Here's how to fix it.
The three things that matter most
- Light. Soft, natural light from in front of you. Face a window, or go outside an hour before sunset. Overhead light (bathrooms, kitchens, offices) puts shadows under your eyes and makes you look tired. Flash flattens your face. Window light is free and it's what every good photo has.
- Angle. Camera at eye level or slightly above, never below. Below makes a double chin out of anyone. Turn your body a quarter turn away from the camera and look back. Straight on and square to the lens is a mugshot.
- Expression. Relax your face, then think of something actually funny right before the shot. A real smile reaches the eyes. If you hate your smile, a closed mouth smile with relaxed eyes works. The dead eyed serious face does not, no matter how many guys think it looks tough.
The six photos to have
- A clear headshot. Face and shoulders, window light, real smile, no sunglasses. This is the one that gets you a swipe. Make it first.
- A full body shot. Standing, good posture, clothes that fit, doing nothing in particular. She wants to know what you look like, and hiding it reads as hiding something.
- You doing something you love. Hiking, cooking, at a game, playing music. Candid, taken by a friend. Shows what a date with you looks like.
- You with friends. One, where you're clearly identifiable. You have people. Not a group of eight.
- You dressed up. A wedding, a nice dinner. Shows range.
- Something with a story. Travel, a dog, a weird moment. It gives her an opener.
Delete these
- The gym mirror selfie. Even if you're proud of it. It reads as the main thing you care about.
- Any bathroom selfie. The lighting, the toilet, all of it.
- Sunglasses in more than one photo. She needs to see your eyes.
- The photo with your ex cropped out, with her hand on your shoulder still visible.
- A fish, unless fishing is actually your thing and it's one photo.
- Anything blurry, dark, or from more than two years ago.
- A car selfie. The seatbelt angle is nobody's best angle.
How to take them without a photographer
- Ask a friend. Buy them a coffee, give them 30 minutes near a window and outside at golden hour. Have them take a hundred. Three will be great.
- No friend available? Phone on a tripod or propped on a shelf, self timer or a Bluetooth remote for $10. Take fifty. Walk around between shots so they look candid.
- Wear what makes you feel good and fits. Solid colors over patterns. See how to dress better for dates.
- Fresh haircut a few days before. Good posture, which is half the battle: see how to fix bad posture fast.
Don't over edit
Light retouching is fine. Smoothing your skin into plastic, whitening your teeth into headlights, or using a filter that changes your face is not. She'll meet you, and the gap between the photo and the person is what makes a first date go cold. The goal is you on your best day, not someone else.
Texts you can send
can i borrow you for 30 min saturday near a window and then outside around 6? need new photos. coffee on me
be brutal. which of these should be photo one and which ones should die
thanks. my friend took 100 of those and 3 were usable. you are seeing the survivors
A woman's read
When I swipe through a profile, I'm not grading your looks. I'm trying to picture a date with you. Can I see your face clearly? Do you look like you'd be fun to sit across from? Is there anything in there that gives me something to say? A guy with an average face, soft window light, a real smile and one photo of him cooking gets my attention over a guy with a great body in a dark gym mirror every time. The gym pic tells me what you care about. The cooking pic tells me what the date is.
The move
This weekend, get a friend and a window. A hundred shots, soft light, camera at eye level, think of something funny. Then pick one clear headshot, one full body, one doing something you love. Delete the mirror selfie.
Questions guys ask
Why am I not getting likes on dating apps?
Most often the photos. Dark lighting, bathroom or gym mirror selfies, sunglasses, no clear face shot, or no full body shot. Fixing the first photo alone usually changes things.
What photos should a guy have on a dating profile?
A clear headshot in natural light with a real smile, a full body shot, one doing something you love, one with friends, one dressed up, and one with a story. Five or six total, all recent.
How do I take good dating app photos by myself?
A phone on a tripod or shelf with a self timer or a $10 Bluetooth remote, facing a window or outside near sunset. Take fifty, move between shots, and keep the three best. A friend with your phone for 30 minutes is even better.
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